hope you don't mind these
"What we know about Osama bin Laden is this -- he's worth $300 million,
>>he
>>has
>>five wives and 26 kids ... and he hates Americans for their
>'excessive'
>>lifestyle."
>>
>>-- David Letterman
>>
>>
>>"The leaders of the Taliban said today that killing bin Laden won't
>>solve
>>the
>>problem. But, you know, it couldn't hurt."
>>
>>-- Jay Leno
>>
>>
>>"More and more details coming out now about spoiled rich kid Osama
>bin
>>Laden.
>>Time reports this week he was one of 52 kids. Mother must be
>exhausted.
>>This
>>guy
>>inherited $80 million at age 13 and has since expanded it to $300
>>million
>>through construction, smart investments and gas and oil investments.
>>This
>>way,
>>he can use the money in his war against capitalism."
>>
>>-- Jay Leno
>>
>>
>>"You read about all these terrorists, most of them came here legally,
>>but
>>they
>>hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10-15 years.
>>Now,
>>compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a video and
>>these
>>people
>>are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in charge of immigration."
>>
>>-- Jay Leno
>>
>>
>>"More and more facts coming out about Osama bin Laden. You know, he
>>never
>>sleeps
>>in the same place two nights in a row, just like Clinton."
>>
>>-- Jay Leno
>>
>>
>>"This Osama bin Laden guy, spoiled rich kid worth $300M. I have three
>>words
>>for
>>this guy: Anna Nicole Smith. We send her over there, she'll get his
>>money,
>>he'll
>>be dead in a week."
>>
>>-- Jay Leno
>>
>>
>>
>>"One of the Taliban spokesmen said they have thousands of men who
>look
>>forward
>>to death like Americans look forward to living, which is great
>because
>>we
>>can
>>arrange that. We'll set them up with death, we'll continue living."
>>
>>-- Jay Leno
>>
>
>>
>>"Things have really changed here in Hollywood. Used to be people in
>this
>>
>>town
>>couldn't wait to get an envelope full of white powder."
>>
>>-- Jay Leno
>>
>>
>>"I don't mean to harp on this, but it's like the networks are a
>how-to
>>manual
>>for terrorists. You see them on the news. This reporter is standing
>>outside
>>a
>>water treatment plant, going, 'If they poured the poison here it
>could
>>wipe
>>out
>>thousands because the guard is off duty from noon until 1 every
>day!'"
>>
>>-- Jay Leno
>>
>>
>>"The FBI is! urging all Americans to beware of any letters or
>packages
>>that
>>have
>>badly misspelled words. Man, this is going to be terrible news for
>the
>>rap
>>industry."
>>
>>-- Jay Leno
>>
>>
>>"Tomorrow night on NBC a very special episode of West Wing, it makes
>a
>>direct
>>reference to what happened in New York City. The exact plot is being
>>kept
>>top
>>secret. We are the only country in the world where we put our battle
>>plans
>>on
>>CNN, but the plots to our TV shows are top secret."
>>
>>-- Jay Leno
>>
>>
>>
>>"Now this really annoys me: All these people getting on the Internet
>and
>>
>>saying
>>Nostradamus predicted this. If Nostradamus were alive today his name
>>would
>>be
>>Miss Cleo and he'd be charging $2.99 a minute."
>>
>>-- Jay Leno
>>
>>
>>"U.S. Government has said they are now going to go after the
>terrorist's
>>electronic banking system. You know what they should do? They should
>>transfer
>>bin Laden's funds to my bank. They'd mess up his deposits, screw up
>his
>>statement and nickel and dime him to death with service charges."
>>
>>-- Jay Leno
>